Monday, April 8, 2013

Kumpulan SMS Lucu 2013

Qta dicipta Alloh be'beda-beda
4da yg cakep 4da yg jelek
Yg cakep ngirim sms, Yang jelek lg baca sms.
Kmu hrs tabah nerima-nya….:-)
*****************
apa u tau alasan knp ku sms km...??
5% pengin tau kbr
5% kasihan
2% k-angen
1% pe-duli
90% sa-yang
krn, sayang banget say..
klo sms gra-tis ana tdk dimanfaatkan!?!
**********************
cinta itu = buta..
buta itu = gelap..
gelap itu = hitam..
hitam itu = monyet..
monyet itu = yang baca sms ini..:-)
****************************
Jika u butuh saran, message me!

Jika u butuh teman, Call me!
Jika u butuh bantuan, e-mail me!
Jika u butuh uang, Nomor yg anda hubungi salah,..trimaksih.
**************************************
Amati sekitarmu, semua itu adlh kebesaran alloh.
Lihat-lah keluarga-mu, itu adalah anugrah Alloh
Lihat-lah di cermin, itu cobaan Alloh!sabar ya sob..
**************************************
Wah kawan rapi sekali niih..
hari ini kamu beda dari biasanya lho...
tumben udah Mandi, udah Sholat..
pakaian putih bersih, udah wangi sekali bro..
sebenarnya...
kamu mo dikuburin jam berapa?
**************************************
Apa lu tdk lht lampu merah?" tanya polisi pd pengendara motor.
"Sy lht, kok Pak."
"Terus knapa Sodara tdk b'henti?"
"Sy tdk lht Bpk."
**************************************
Rumus hitungan cinta:
B3nci x b3nci = suk4
Suk4 + suk4= cint4
Cint4 – suk4 = pud4r
Cint4 : 2 = s3lingkuh
S3lingkuh 2x = k3tahuan
K3t4huan 2x = putus
PutuS 1x = ST-12 (Cari Pacar Lagi)
**************************************
seorang Satp4m h3ran lihat c3wek m4inan HP m4lam2 di kuburan. lalu dia tanya ke cew3 itu “mbak Kok main2 hp, duduk di atas kuburan Mba?” ho'o Mas. Di dlm kubur4n sinyale lemah.wkwk
**************************************
Guru membagi formulir pd anak skolah . s3orang murid bertany pd guru trsbt: Bu, nama orngtua di tulis ???
tidak lma kmudian murid trsbt batanya lagi: alamat di tulis lgkap bu ???
blum sampai 2 menit sj murid itu brtax lagi: klo jenis klamin orangtua di tulis jga bu ??
…karna so bosan gru langsung bilang :
TIDAK USAH DI TULIS TAPI DI GAMBAR BIAR LEBIH JELAS !!!!
**************************************

Pejamkan matamu biarkan jiwamu terbang melayang
Hiruplah udara sedalam-dalam
Dan rasakan kentut yang kau keuarkan
Betapa nikmat bukan???
Itulah kentut yang kau keluarkan
Memang baunya busuk tak karuan
Bagaikan bangkai yang membusuk di tepi jalan
Dan tak terhiraukan
Demikian puisi yang saya sampaikan
Apabila ada kata-kata yang salh mohon di maklumi
Akhir kata wasalam
============================
Dibaca ingusan....
    Tidak dibaca mimisan.....
    Dibalas kudisan...
    Tidak dibalas panuan...
    Disimpan jerawatan...
    Dihapus sariawan...
    Ketawa bisulan....
    Marah masuk kuburan.....
=======================
    Doa'in gue ya! Td gue baru chek up ke dokter, gue kena penyakit BEAUTIFULIST! Semacam penyakit MAKIN CANTIK gitu! Gak nular SICH, cuman gak bisa sembuh aja...
===================================================
    Seorang anak bertanya kepada seorang pendeta. Kenapa harus ada neraka? Jawab Pendeta: kalo gak ada neraka harus dibawa kemana orang yg baca SMS ini?
========================================
    Selamat! anda memenangkan undian PEPSODENT. Utk pengambilan hadiah kirimkan biodata anda ke POBox 22222 disertai 2 gigi depan & akarnya
=====================================
    kubuka bajumu dengan segenap birahi, kusibak bulu rambut tipismu, kujilat dan kugigit bijimu, uh!! panas ya mas ... jagung rebusnya, lagi dong !
=============================
cinta..
cinta itu omong kosong.
sayang..
sayang hanya nafsu.
kekasih..
kekasih itu penghianat.
janji..
janji itu GOMBAL..!!
=====================================
  Eh, HP lo kNp sih?
    ditlpoN berkali2…
    Tiap kali ditlpoN, operatornya slalu blg
    “The number u’re calling is a MONKEY, please call
    THE ZOO for more details”
    hi..hi..
=====================================
Kamu itu :
1. Istimewa
2. Baik
3. Ramah
4. lucu
5. Pintar
6. Supel
7. Mengagumkan dan aku simpatik sama kamu.
Begitu kata teman²ku tentang AKU…
Bukan tentang KAMU!!!
=====================================
Coba liat nih ada 1 pohon..
,;*”*;, kamu liat
*;,Y,;* kan??
_ )(_
Knapa kamu gk prnah sms aku lagi?
Apa lu mau
digantung disitu??
=====================================

76 comments:

  1. haha jadi inget masa2 smp sms kaya bgini bnyak bgt nih di simpen di draft setiap hp

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  2. lucu banget gan hehheheh.. jadi nostalgia

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  3. yang sms == "Pejamkan matamu biarkan jiwamu terbang melayang
    Hiruplah udara sedalam-dalam
    Dan rasakan kentut yang kau keuarkan
    Betapa nikmat bukan???
    Itulah kentut yang kau keluarkan"

    ini yg paling ane suka... makasih ya klo bisa izin share back

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